Okay, I’m sure you’ve heard of juice cleanses by now. Maybe you’ve read a few articles or seen some instagram influencers pushing branded juice diets and now you’re thinking to yourself; “could this possibly work?”. Well, my friends and I tried a one week juice cleanse for the first time ever. And I’m here to give you my honest (and unsponsored) thoughts on it. This is The Beginner 7-Day Juice Cleanse: Is It Worth It?

When I first heard that we were spending our week on a liquid diet I was definitely less than thrilled. I’ve suffered through my fair share of terrible diets, but they’ve always constituted some sort of solid food items. I immediately imagined a week of pure hell, and well… I was somewhat right.

Our podcast (listen here), is called Better Off Better. It started with me and my two best friends entering into a verbal agreement that affected my life from then on. We do weekly challenges to test out things that people everywhere seem to think make them better people. Now, we know we aren’t great people. So why not try and fix that though very competitive challenges where we purposely pit ourselves against each other? Doesn’t that sound healthy?

So, as we began discussing the terms of this diet/challenge, I was despondent. But determined to come out ahead of the other two. So, what were the terms and how did the week go?

The Terms of The Juice Cleanse

The rules of our juice cleanse were fairly simple. We had two days of acclimation, eating raw or boiled fruits and veggies only. Then the rest of the week was no sugar added fruit and veggie juice until the last day. Simple enough. However, we also added a stipulation saying we couldn’t drink coffee. Less simple as someone who has anywhere from four to five cups a day. This was a big downside for me, and even though I found caffeine alternatives, I couldn’t help myself from dreaming about a warm cup of coffee in the morning instead of chilled and caffeinated fruit juices.

Day One and Two

So when day one came around, off I went to the store. I came out with my arms full of terrible no-sugar-added juice and a negative attitude. A big portion of my choices were juices that I thought would give me the nutrients I’d need for a rounded diet, which as it turns out is kind of hard to do with plain juice.

The start of this diet really wasn’t bad at all, despite unseasoned veggies being not the most tasty meal, I wasn’t hungry and I didn’t mind it too bad. I eat a lot of fruit anyways so I had a fine time eating raspberries and cauliflower and trying not to think about it. The biggest hurdle was trying to stop myself from dreading the third day when we went all liquid.

The Dreaded Day Three

Waking up on day three was immediately… underwhelming. I wasn’t starving, but I wasn’t excited for the adventure I was about to go on. Really all I wanted that day was a bowl of cereal. My saving grace for day three was juice based energy drinks. The group had OK’ed them a few days before, and I was getting way too deep into the work I was doing that day. So between chugging those down and trying to ignore the horrifying noises my stomach was making, it wasn’t as terrible as I had been anticipating.

That day ended early, as it turns out no solid food makes you a little more sleepy, even if you are chugging tons of caffeine filled fruit teas. All in all, I was not excited to wake up on day four and I wasn’t feeling any better than I did when I started the cleanse.

Day Four, Five, Six, and Seven

The rest of the days were a blur of hunger and being overly annoyed any time I was near someone who was eating solid foods. I was chugging green juices and trying to pretend they were chicken parm subs while simultaneously trying to not pass out from lack of solid food. By this point (day six) I had lost six pounds (which I gained back within less than a week since it was mostly water weight and lack of sodium), and was getting terrible headaches that I attribute to the juices being filled with sugar (even if it is natural).

The juice cleanse made me so zombie-like that I would have gladly paid double what I paid for over priced juices just to avoid trying that diet! I pretty much spent the entire last day dreaming about what foods I was going to eat when this was over and smelling the food my roommates were cooking out in the kitchen of our apartment. Going to bed that last night would have been filled with excitement if I had enough energy for it at that point.

The Morning After

I woke up realizing I could eat and wasted no time. In hindsight, I should have wasted *some* time. Because right when I ate my first bit of food I spent a solid two hours watching it all come back up again in the bathroom. (Word to the wise, no binging after not having solid food for a week.) Yes… I felt thin, but at what cost? This diet was absolutely terrible. The only good thing to come out of it is my new knowledge of V8’s caffeinated fruit teas. (V8 hit me up for a sponsorship).


If you want to feel absolutely terrible for a week, I’d suggest to you this diet. Otherwise, there’s not a chance in hell I’d ever try this diet again. Nor would I recommend it to someone who is sound of mind. There’s many other dieting strategies that are  much better. More sustainable, comfortable, and don’t give you the absolute worst headaches in the world. Not to mention a terrible bathroom experience. So try literally any other diet before this one because your body will thank you!

Check out our podcast Better Off Better to hear us struggle with this terrible juice cleanse

How about the author of this post, Jenny Whipple

Also, our Youtube channel for video podcasts and other comedy stuff

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